Friday, May 15, 2015

THEORY: Why Donnie Darko is About a Total Asshole




Donnie Darko has a lot going on: alternate dimensions, time travel, psychology, a coming of age story. And yeah it's a cool 80's movie packed with interesting thought experiments. But if you think the premise is about Donnie Darko, the martyr who sacrifices himself, you may want to reexamine that. Because it's really about how Frank (the guy in the bunny suit) a total asshole.

Right, so as you might remember Frank was the giant goth bunny who took some bad Mali. But really he was a dude who made this terrifying costume. But I guess if you're about to enter another dimension after getting shot in the eye, you'll need some appropriate attire. And that's the point. See, Donnie's girlfriend, Gretchen, also dies at the end of the movie but she doesn't get the luxury of reincarnating herself in her Halloween outfit. Nope she's just dead, donezo, gone, otherwise you think she'd drop in and say hey to Donnie in his hallucinations the way Frank does. Instead she just you know, stays dead like a normal person.


Yeah you hear me Frank, you're a dick
But Frank is given the gift of this ethereal afterlife where he gets to visit people in hallucinations and dreams. Does he go visit his mom or girlfriend or whoever with reassuring comforting words though? I mean maybe, but it's unlikely, cus he's a total fucking asshole. Instead he haunts the dreams of his killer, Donnie and inevitably trades Donnie's life for his so he can live again. He's enacting revenge by ruining Donnie's life and then taking his life away.

Step 1
So what's the first step of a sociopathic, alcoholic (I'll get to that) ghost hellbent on revenge? Make your killer think he's going crazy. He's apparently been tormenting Donnie long before October 2nd (the opening of the movie) He's got Donnie feeling crazy, waking up weird places, stabbing mirrors and having to take pills, and seeing a shrink like he's gonna go postal at any minute. And Frank's giving Donnie Insomnia and wiling out, waking up random places.

Step 2
Deteriorate Donnie's relationship with his family. I mean Donnie's so frustrated about the whole situation he calls his mom a bitch, fights with his sister, his dad's obviously concerned in that stoic fatherly-kinda way.

Step 3
Get Donnie in trouble. He keeps hypnotizing Donnie to play pranks around town. First Frank plays a prank on Donnie, tells him the world will end, "lolol, he's gonna freak about that" Frank says, sharpying the number on Donnie's arm like he's a drunk frat kid and  stranding him on a golf course. Then on to destroy the school so he can Ferris Beuller his way home and be hounded by the police. And finally burn someones' house down. Yeah the dude happened to be a pedo, but there's nothing to indicate Frank knew that at the time. He's just trying to get Donnie in trouble, have the police hot on his tail when he burns down the house of the biggest celebrity in the county. He wants Donnie to get in trouble. He even shows up at the Psychiatrist's office so when Donnie gets caught, she'll be like, yeah dude was crazy.

Step 4
Kill Donnie so Frank can live. If Frank can bounce around and go visit Donnie, why doesn't he go bounce around and visit himself and be like: "hey you know that road? Don't drive on it for like, a month or you're gonna kill someone. Or if we're under the assumption that Donnie's the only one he can visit because... portals? I guess. Then his only job should really be: "Oh hey, you know that old woman's house, just don't go there on Halloween. Cool thanks, we're all alive now." No instead he's just spouting ambiguous, terrifying shit, hypnotizing Donnie and freaking him out. Frank is psychologically torturing Donnie literally for the last days of Donnie's shortened life. Then finally bringing the hatchet down by putting Donnie in the path of the plane engine at the end. But I guess the "Hi, don't go there" scenario would make for a pretty terrible movie.

At first I thought, well this is a fun fan theory, just a shift in perspective that's amusing and maybe you'll watch the movie differently. But when I was wrapping up I thought: do we have any evidence that he was a dick? Well the answer is yeah, yeah we do.


Yeah, that is not a sober person's handwriting
Remember that note on the fridge left by Maggie Gyllanhall for Frank to get the beer? Yeah, you don't ask the straight-laced dummie to do that shit, you ask the guy who's gonna be drinking so much that he's probably gonna take the keg home afterward and use it through the weekend. You send the straight-laced kid and he's gonna come back with some shitty Natty Light or worse. And that kinda guy definitely pre-games for parties. So he's driving fast and drunk down this winding back road and runs over Donnie's girlfriend, dick move. Also it'd kinda explain why he's so crazy in the afterlife, he's gone Jack in the Shining, he's sober in the afterlife going through withdrawals, he's gonna be an angry dick, like your friend trying to quit cigarettes. And also we know he's Native American, not saying I think they're alcoholics, no just saying Hollywood loves stereotypes and that's one of them.


Frank totally could have prevented this. 
Ok sure maybe I'm reaching and he has a normal, healthy taste for alcohol. So do I still think he's a douchebag? Yes, even his reaction when he gets out of the car spells it out. Does he apologize, does he run to her to see if she's ok? Does he give her CPR? No! His gut reaction is to just start blaming the whole thing on Gretchen. "What's she doing in the road," he says without a second's hesitation, casting the blame before anyone can question whether he's at fault or a little intoxicated.

And of course Donnie shoots him, Frank's ruined his life, tortured him and now killed the girl he just lost his virginity to. So if Frank weren't a dick, Donnie would 1. Have a healthy relationship with his family 2. They'd all still be alive, yes even Donnie b/c remember the jet gets sent through a portal, it hasn't actually come off a plane so guess who did that 3. They all could have had decent normal lives and that awful woman who's in charge of the dance squad would have been on the plane that lost the engine.